善于運(yùn)用善心，真正做到自利利他（中英開示）

　　如果有人在需要幫助的時(shí)候，我們憑借一時(shí)的情緒，沒(méi)有冷靜、長(zhǎng)久地去審視自己的作為能力，這就不僅幫不了對(duì)方，反而會(huì)難及自己。那我們?nèi)绾伟堰@顆善心運(yùn)用的得當(dāng)，真正的能做到自利利他呢？

　　When helping those in need with impulsive passion, without reflecting upon our abilities, we may not only fail to help, but also embarrass ourselves.  How can we be kind in a good way, benefiting both ourselves and others?

　　一時(shí)的熱心，會(huì)有激情、動(dòng)力，但更多的是短期效應(yīng)，很難持續(xù)，有時(shí)候甚至?xí)�給對(duì)方帶來(lái)壓力和傷害。一個(gè)人需要幫助時(shí)一般是處于一種被動(dòng)的狀態(tài)，容易暴露出他弱勢(shì)、窘?jīng)r的一面。這個(gè)點(diǎn)如果處理不好，待對(duì)方恢復(fù)過(guò)來(lái)，會(huì)有顛覆的可能性。所以在幫助別人的時(shí)候，盡量不去奪取別人的主體意識(shí)及作為空間，可以給予方法、信心、祝福等力所能及的支持。長(zhǎng)久、冷靜地去看，一時(shí)的熱心就會(huì)如實(shí)下來(lái)。

　　Passion has its power but only lasts a short while. Sometimes it may bring pressure and harm to others. When someone needs help, they are in a passive status and expose weaknesses or embarrassment easily. If that is not well noted, more harm than good may be achieved when the person gain himself. Thus, whenever you help others, try not to deprive them of their independence or space but rather, provide support by offering blessing, confidence and advice in appropriate ways.This type of passion will be enduring.

　　像父母對(duì)孩子的教育，重要的是把位置定好——在孩子成長(zhǎng)的過(guò)程中，孩子一定是主體，父母是個(gè)輔助者，不奪取孩子主動(dòng)選擇與承擔(dān)責(zé)任的權(quán)利與機(jī)會(huì)。不期待、不逼迫，耐心地給予健康的引導(dǎo)，支持孩子有獨(dú)立的作為的空間，才是真正對(duì)孩子的尊重。

　　Like the parents’ education of their children, the key is to position yourself and your child with awareness and sensitivity. In the process of children’s growth, children are the main body and parents the supporters.They should not deprive children of the rights and opportunities of making choices or being responsible. Real respect for children is to give them independent space so that they can make their own choices under parents’ patient and supportive direction without expectation.

　　現(xiàn)在很多的家庭恰恰相反，一定要讓孩子聽話——其實(shí)大部分都是打著為對(duì)方好的理由來(lái)滿足自我的需要。父母意識(shí)不到，一開始的善心在作為的過(guò)程中不知不覺(jué)已變成了要求，久而久之孩子就會(huì)產(chǎn)生對(duì)抗與叛逆，父母則會(huì)感到莫名的委屈。

　　Many families are doing just the opposite. Parents force their children to be obedient. Actually, they are fulfilling their own needs in the guise of helping or loving their children. They are not aware of the fact that their original kindness turns into obligations as time goes by. So children will become rebellious and resentful of their help and parents may feel wronged.

　　幫助一個(gè)人，關(guān)鍵是守護(hù)無(wú)染。用無(wú)所得的心去做力所能及的事，即是善用善心。

　　The key to help others is to help while keeping our heart away from attachment. If you can help others while knowing the whole matter to be as illusory as a dream, you are being kind in a good way.

　　——來(lái)自慈法法師的『生命之光 · 陽(yáng)光早餐』

　　——From:『Light of Life Sunshine Breakfast』

　　原標(biāo)題：陽(yáng)光早餐 | 善用善心

　　轉(zhuǎn)自微信公眾號(hào)：菩提眼